c. 1999 Religion News Service
(Dale Hanson Bourke is publisher of RNS.)
UNDATED _ Amid the investigation of and speculation about the cause of the crash of John F. Kennedy Jr.’s airplane, another theme has emerged. Even if the crash wasn’t caused by pilot error, the consensus seems to be that the young Kennedy was flying a plane too sophisticated and in conditions too dangerous for his training.
What I would like to ask is whether anyone told him.
All those people who claim to have known him well, flown with him, seen him at the airport before takeoff and now are willing to second-guess him _ did any of them warn him?
My guess is they did not. Sadly, my fear is that while they might have told the average guy they hesitated to tell someone as rich and dashing and famous as Kennedy.
Kennedy had the same disadvantage as presidents and CEOs and heads of ministries. People surrounding them want to be liked, to keep their jobs, to bask in the reflected glow of the spotlight. The natural human tendency is to tell only good news to such people and never to warn them when they are about to make a mistake.
The more famous and powerful they become, the fewer people act as true advisers. Their perspective becomes distorted by the chorus of encouragers and the applause of the public. They lack the touchstones we all need _ true friends and trusted colleagues who tell us things we sometimes don’t want to hear.
In”The Emperor’s New Clothes,”all the king’s advisers were willing to let him walk naked before the crowd rather than put themselves on the line. They wanted the king to like them more than they wanted to protect their ruler. Finally a young boy proclaimed the truth and embarrassed them all.
In the case of the fairy tale, the consequences were not tragic. But in the situation with Kennedy, any of those who hesitated to tell him the truth must now examine their own conscience.
There is a tendency to believe certain people can pull off feats the rest of us mere mortals wouldn’t even attempt. And in fact, some people have earned our respect by courage or optimism that defies logic.
Kennedy had started a magazine and created a golden life. Who dared tell him how to work out the details?
In our live-and-let-live world, we are quick to second-guess when things go wrong but hesitant to warn others that we question their judgment. We sit in meetings and raise eyebrows instead of speaking up. We tell our spouses about the poor decisions of acquaintances but rarely confront them directly.
Whatever we discover about the true cause of this tragedy, we must learn to examine the cause of our own unwillingness to tell the truth, even at times to our friends. It seems to be a sin in our society to tell other people what to do. It even seems crazy to offer a negative opinion to someone more powerful.
But when we don’t speak up because of selfish motives, we truly are sinning. We are valuing ourselves more than the other person. We are unwilling to take a small risk to save the other person from a greater risk.
Maybe no words or advice could have changed the outcome of the Kennedy tragedy. But one sad lesson we can learn is to speak up more and second-guess less.
DEA END BOURKE
