COMMENTARY: A Quick Guide to Finding the Perfect House (of Worship)

c. 2006 Religion News Service (UNDATED) “Why isn’t there someone, like a real estate agent, who can help me find a church?” Hmmm. What a good idea. After all, finding a church isn’t all that different from shopping for a house. A lot of the same issues come into play: the reasons for looking in […]

c. 2006 Religion News Service

(UNDATED) “Why isn’t there someone, like a real estate agent, who can help me find a church?”

Hmmm. What a good idea. After all, finding a church isn’t all that different from shopping for a house. A lot of the same issues come into play: the reasons for looking in the first place, square footage and floor plans, the neighborhood and schools, do-it-yourself potential and, of course, the price.


If there were such agents, here are some questions they would ask you before you set out church-hunting. Just like house-hunting, knowing what you want and narrowing your choices in the beginning will save time and energy in an otherwise overwhelming project.

(We gleaned these questions from talking to people who have searched and now are settled in their perfect spiritual home. These suggestions are tailored to Christians looking for churches, but they might be adaptable to other spiritual shoppers, too.)

Why are you looking? Knowing your answer to this question is key to finding a new house of worship _ and there are as many answers as there are people looking for a church. Some are looking for a new house like the one they grew up in. Others don’t have great memories of the old homestead but want to feed their spirituality within a community. Sometimes, children are the impetus to finding a religious home. Once in a while, a tragedy, illness, ongoing personal struggle or thoughts of mortality are the reasons to look for a place where faith can live.

How much space do you need? Do you like something snug, cozy and conducive to contemplation? Or is a big house, overflowing with people, more to your liking? If you like the idea of a big church, are there also options to split up into small groups? For many people, knowing a small circle well helps to make a larger church function better.

Besides size, think about what you want the church to look like. Are you at heart a formal person or an informal one? Maybe you are most comfortable in an environment of stained glass and wooden pews. Or you might prefer a simple storefront or a starkly modern loft.

Finally, think about mental space. Is there room to grow? If all the beliefs of the community are nailed down, you’ll have to decide if you agree with them. Maybe you’ll be more at home in a church where there is room for some difference of opinion.

What sort of neighborhood are you looking for? Here’s where a church being independent or part of a larger denomination comes into play. To find out more about any given church or denomination, check out the Internet. Many churches and denominations have Web sites that include general statements of belief and, often, a listing of individual member congregations. Or check out a book, such as Carmen Renee Berry’s “The Unauthorized Guide to Choosing a Church” (Brazos Press, $18.99, 400 pages).


Another neighborhood factor is schools. Many adults and most children need to learn more about their faith. If that’s important, you’ll want a church that offers possibilities to read, discuss and think about how religion and life intersect. Do you understand the vocabulary of the church, or will you feel comfortable learning what the community means by “grace,” “salvation” and “rummage sale”?

Don’t overlook informal sessions when you can meet with pastors and other church members to ask initial questions. If these sessions go well, you might find a regular class will be comfortable, too. And, speaking of comfort, how content do you want to be? Some people believe a church should challenge members as well as console them.

Will you fit in in this neighborhood? Only you can know if you are more comfortable with people your age or if it’s important to you to worship with older and younger folks.

What are the do-it-yourself possibilities? This is, for many would-be churchgoers, a moment of truth. Is the new house perfect as it is, requiring only that folks move in and make themselves at home? Or does it need work, requiring members to serve others, either within the church or out in the world? Look for opportunities that suit your particular gifts so you can be assured of a good _ and lasting _ fit.

What will it cost? OK, maybe this is your moment of truth. Can you afford this new spiritual home? There is a philosophy that you should stretch your budget to buy the house you really want. But there is also a realistic outlook. Determine what it will cost you, in terms of time, energy and money, to be part of this church. And decide if your expectations and those of the others who live here are compatible. To live long and happily at the same address, it helps if you have confidence in the amount you give and in the way the budget is spent.

There you have it, a quick guide to what might prove to be one of life’s longest, and most valuable, searches. Don’t be afraid to attend an open house or two and be upfront with your questions. And if a particular house of worship doesn’t fit your needs, don’t be ashamed to move again. It takes a while to find just the right spot, one that you can call home.


MO/PH END RNS

(Nancy Haught writes about religion for The Oregonian in Portland, Ore.)

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