c. 2006 Religion News Service
(UNDATED) Christian comedians features in the upcoming movie “Thou Shalt Laugh” riff on subjects ranging from religion to every day life. The film is scheduled for release this fall. Jeff Allen:
ÆÂ? Teenagers are God’s revenge on mankind. It’s as if God himself looked down and said: “Let’s see how they like it to create someone in their own image who denies their existance.”
ÆÂ? My wife has a temper, and I mean a real temper. I’m not talking irritability and sarcasm, because those are what attracted me to her.
Thor Ramsey:
ÆÂ? I had to venture into L.A. last night, the most superficial city in the world. I never saw so much silicone in my life. I was thinking, “That’s probably why God flooded the earth when he did.” Because if he flooded it now, none of the women in L.A. would drown.
ÆÂ? The pressure to look good is unbelievable. I went to join a gym, got approached by this female-body-builder-personal-trainer-lady. Her body was wrong. She had her hair up in a little bun. I thought it was a bun … turns out, it was a muscle.
Taylor Mason:
ÆÂ? Whenever I am depressed and feeling blue, I open my Bible to these words that seem like they were written just for me: “This Bible given to Taylor Mason on his 10th Birthday. From Grandma.”
ÆÂ? The Christian world is gaining more and more notoriety. I was at a restaurant in Orange County, and the maitre d’ asked: “Evangelical or Non-Evangelical?”
ÆÂ? I grew up in Illinois. My family farms. I knew I was going to be a comedian because I could make the cows laugh so hard the milk came out their noses.
ÆÂ? What is it with the Starbucks nation? I have a great idea. Why doesn’t everyone just make their own coffee in the morning, then just pretend to stand in line for 15 minutes?
ÆÂ? One time I went to a post-Oscars awards party. It was a disaster. They sat Edward Scissorhands next to Don King.
ÆÂ? If women ran the world, there would be no war. There would be more massages. And our currency would be chocolate.
ÆÂ? My wife plays a game with me every morning. It’s called “Guess What Mood I’m In Today?”
KRE END RNS
AP-NY-05-30-06 1758EDT
