(UNDATED) I held the door for a neighbor. She breezed through without a word of thanks.

No eye contact. No acknowledgment. No gratitude. Just an attitude of entitlement, a “princess” on parade.

As the economy crumbles and millions lose their jobs — nearly 600,000 last month — this scenario happens again and again. The enterprise stumbles, and loyal employees are shown the door without a hint of gratitude.

Some are marched off the premises by security guards, lest they sabotage, say, the computer network. It is humiliating, and it brands the fired employee as unstable, a problem to be managed, certainly not a person deserving respect.

Some receive impersonal notices telling them not to report for duty on Monday; they’re no longer needed. Their continuing presence imperils the enterprise. It’s time for “lean-and-mean,” and sloths must go. Or so goes the implied message.

Higher-ups get golden parachutes and severance packages and don’t face the same economic peril as paycheck-to-paycheck wage earners. Even so, they experience the same cold conversations and lawyer-designed exit interviews. On their way out the door, they sense the same averted eyes, shunned handshakes, and thinly disguised relief that the one’s going enables the other’s staying.

Layoffs happen, of course. Most enterprises are too thinly capitalized and too highly leveraged to withstand a broad downturn. Blue-collar workers aren’t surprised when bosses protect their own salaries. White-collar workers have stopped expecting loyalty for years of dedicated service.

The lost paycheck may be unavoidable. But the tragic human cost is quite avoidable. The blow to the ego cuts deep, especially when the clear message is, “You aren’t necessary, you aren’t valuable, you are a problem, you are an untouchable, you must `die’ if `healthier’ organisms are to live.”

Receiving such messages can paralyze a person at precisely the moment they need to be clear-headed and active. Those messages undermine the enterprise for years to come, as values like loyalty and shared sacrifice vanish.

I doubt that there is any pain-free process for right-sizing an enterprise in a deep recession. But I think that sincere gratitude could make a big difference. I know that human resources professionals are told not to express remorse, concern or even to shake hands, lest they lay ground for lawsuits. But any enterprise — business, agency, museum, church — is about people. And the enterprise will have no future unless it treats its people with dignity and respect.

Gratitude means acknowledging the employee’s contributions — naming the difference that this person made. It means treasuring the employee’s unique place in the human tapestry. It means remorse — yes, remorse, that if the enterprise were stronger, this layoff wouldn’t be necessary.

Gratitude means allowing room for grieving, including anger, so that the severed relationship doesn’t leave a black hole of unstated feelings. Gratitude means making eye contact, expressing sympathy, remembering better days, asking about future plans. Let the lawyers cringe. People deserve respect.

The employee will benefit. So will the enterprise. An ethic of ingratitude will poison the enterprise for everyone and lead to precisely the conditions HR pros want to avoid: me-first attitudes, mutual suspicion, and constant job-hopping.

If faith communities wonder how to help in a recession, they can start by teaching and modeling an ethic of gratitude.

(Tom Ehrich is a writer, church consultant and Episcopal priest based in New York. He is the author of “Just Wondering, Jesus,” and the founder of the Church Wellness Project, http://www.churchwellness.com. His Web site is http://www.morningwalkmedia.com.)