Pastafarian praying to the Flying Spaghetti Monster for pasta. Image by Jan Mika via Shutterstock.T

We begin with the weather report, which for much of this country is now-where-did-I-pack away-my-gloves? cold. But Blase Cupich is getting a warm welcome in Chicago this morning.

The archbishop has knocked

Blase Cupich officially becomes the archbishop of Chicago today, succeeding Cardinal Francis George in a series of ceremonies which began last night, when Cupich, in keeping with tradition, rapped on the door of the Holy Name Cathedral three times. The AP was there for the dramatic moment when . . .

the door, symbolic of Jesus, swung open and then a procession slowly made its way down the center aisle, with applause erupting at the sight of the 65-year-old Cupich and the 77-year-old George, who seemed frail from his battle with cancer, walking slowly behind him.

Cupich, much more in the model of Pope Francis than his conservative predecessor, outlined his agenda in a homily, saying he wanted to push for immigration reform, ameliorate gang violence and help the poor. Here’s Michael O’Loughlin’s take on the new archbishop’s plans.

Four die in synagogue attack

Two Palestinians wielding guns and knives killed four Jews worshipping at the Kehilat Bnei Torah synagogue Tuesday, and injured eight. The synagogue, in the usually peaceful Har Nof neighborhood in West Jerusalem, sits miles from turbulent and contested East Jerusalem, home to many Arab Israelis and the expected capital of a future Palestinian state.

The violence was “like a pogrom from Europe,” said American-Israeli Lisa Goldenhersch, a teacher who works in Har Nof.

Convicted priest dies in prison

Charles Engelhardt, a former Roman Catholic priest convicted of sexually abusing a 10-year-old boy in a Philadelphia parish, died in prison over the weekend awaiting the result of his appeal before Pennsylvania’s Supreme Court. Engelhardt, who had been battling heart problems and had lost 50 pounds since accusations against him first surfaced in 2009, had said that he didn’t remember the boy.

Ebola doctor dies

Dr. Martin Salia, a U.S. resident, died at a hospital in Nebraska Monday. The doctor, who had contracted Ebola treating patients in his native Sierra Leone, had originally tested negative for Ebola, likely after he had been infected but when his viral load was low, medical experts speculate.

The White House responded to Salia’s death: “He viewed this vocation as his calling, telling his fellow United Methodist Church members that he pursued medicine not because he wanted to, but because he firmly believed it was God’s will for him.”

Mystery at BYU

Brigham Young University in Provo, Utah, rated the most religious college campus, by The Princeton Review.

Brigham Young University, the elite Mormon institute of higher learning, has launched an investigation into voice-activated recorders attached with Velcro to the bottom of classroom stools.

Professors discovered the recorders in the Joseph Smith building, which is primarily used to teach religion and hold faculty meetings. The recordings “appeared to be a violation of the law,” said Lt. Arnold Lemmon, public information officer for BYU police.

I am thinking that Arnold Lemmon is not a close relation of Asia Lemmon, also of Utah, the former porn star featured in our next news item.

Just begging to be carded

The DMV in Utah allowed Jessica Steinnauser, who says she is part of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, to wear a colander on her head as a religious statement as she posed for her driver’s license picture. Steinhauser, a former porn star also known as Asia Lemmon, knows that Utah insists on bareheaded portraits for driver’s licenses — except when the headgear is worn for religious reasons.

The Flying Spaghetti Monster Church — also known as “Pastafarianism — was founded as a satirical protest against the teaching intelligent design as an alternative to evolution. And no, I wouldn’t leave you without her license picture.

(Maybe the Spaghetti Monster is secretly taping the Mormons?)

Pew studies Protestantism . . . con salsa

Yes, Protestantism is ascendant in Latin America. I think we all knew that. But leave it to the religion researchers at Pew to tell you you who is evangelizing whom and how. Christianity Today picks over Pew’s new Latin American study and discovers, among other factoids: that two of three Protestants in 18 Latin American countries identifies as Pentecostal, that Protestants are more likely than Catholics to fast during Lent, and that Guatemalans rank highest in their zeal for evangelism.

The McMass Project

There’s a new Indiegogo campaign to place McDonald’s in churches. Organizers note that churches are closing by the thousands in the U.S. each year, and that McDonald’s serves 70 million people a day. So the solution to the dwindling churches problem is a McDonald’s in every church, and they want to start by raising $1 million to buy the first franchise. This may or may not be a joke, but if it’s real, someone should starts a companion campaign to put a Gold’s Gym in every church.
http://vimeo.com/112127983

ICYMI the RNS bloggers . . .

Mark Silk takes on Terry Mattingly over the Muslim worship service at the Washington National Cathedral.

Boz Tchividjian critiques the Biblical justification for forcing sex abuse victims to confront their abusers.

Living authentically as a transgender priest.

Also worth your time

A museum on the slave trade is planned for the Episcopal cathedral in Providence.

Abdul-Rahman Kassig’s parents, who had emphasized his son’s conversion to Islam, reveal their own Christian faith.

It can be dangerous to wear a yarmulke — even in New York City.

What a mix of sorrowful, hopeful and ridiculous news today. Get it all, every weekday, in the religion news roundup. Sign up below.