c. 2007 Religion News Service
(UNDATED) In her new book, “You Never Call! You Never Write! A History of the Jewish Mother,” Joyce Antler examines the American Jewish mother stereotype throughout the 20th century. Her own daughters, 30-year-old Lauren, a comedian living in New York City, and 23-year-old Rachel, a paralegal in Los Angeles, recently spoke about their mother.
Q: Is your mom, Joyce Antler, a stereotypical Jewish mother?
Rachel: She’s very involved in our lives but she’s also very loving.
Lauren: But she’s also a Jewish feminist mother. She’s not just involved in our lives but she’s involved in pushing us and trying to help us find our voice. … She’d push us, but at least in our older years, we get it that she has our best interests in mind.
Q: Has her mothering behavior changed as a result of writing this book?
Rachel: Jewish mothers have helicopter tendencies, and now she’s evaluating that more. We’ll always be her little girls. She’s unable to prevent herself from doing the behaviors, but she’s aware she’s being silly. A couple of months ago I was going on a cross-country flight and she insisted _ insisted! _ that I take snacks with me, even though I’m perfectly capable of eating plane food.
Lauren: Now she’s a meta-Jewish mother. A few weeks ago, she was walking across this street near where I’m moving, and she thought that “Oh, this is such a dangerous intersection, I have to warn Lauren.” And I’ve been out of the house for 13 years!
Q: In addition to feeding and worrying about their children, the stereotypical Jewish mom is eager to marry her kids off. Has this been the case for you?
Lauren: We definitely know of mothers who engineered their kids meeting … but there was never an emphasis on dating or pairing up when we were younger. It was always achievement in any sense. Luckily, we’re both with wonderful people.
Rachel: She’s more likely to be e-mailing us grad school program information. … I think she just wants us to be happy, whatever that means.
Q: A recent JDate.com Mother’s Day poll reports that more Jewish moms may want their children to find a “match,” instead of traditional gifts like flowers, chocolate or jewelry. What do you think your mom wants for Mother’s Day?
Lauren: She wants love and she wants appreciation, acknowledgment for everything that she’s done professionally and as a mother. And, at least a card. Well, I think she wouldn’t mind flowers and chocolates. We forgot last year, and she got mad, so then we got her a massage.
Rachel: If she hadn’t written the book, we would be getting it for her for Mother’s Day!
Q: Do you see yourselves turning into stereotypical Jewish moms?
Rachel: Well, I do worry a lot about people. And Lauren carries snacks around in her bag all the time.
Lauren: Yes, we will be Jewish mothers. I also carry vitamins and Band-Aids, and a bottle of water!
KRE/CM END NEROULIAS500 words
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