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COMMENTARY: Lessons worth learning the hard way

(RNS) Instead of year-end analyses and new-year resolutions, I prefer to share important lessons I have learned. Most came the hard way. That’s the first lesson: The easy way rarely leads anywhere worth going.

Here are others as we begin a new year:

— Make your bed and wash the dishes. Take pride in doing the basics well.


— If you make a mess, clean it up.

— Trust your gut.

— Seek justice, not revenge.

— Tell the truth, even when it’s inconvenient.

— If the cashier gives you too much change, give back what isn’t yours.

— Embrace your uniqueness, don’t rush to conform.

— Be as beautiful, handsome, successful and skilled as you can be, and don’t listen when others set standards and boundaries that only serve them.

— Listen first, speak second.

— Don’t tell anyone to “shut up,” especially a child.

— Love your partner and be as loyal, steadfast, patient and generous as you can be. Trust your partner to fill in the missing pieces.

— Don’t let someone pay you less than you are worth. Don’t demand more than you are worth.

— Enjoy work.

— Don’t go along with the crowd.

— Not every argument is worth having. Look up facts, and be kind toward opinions.

— Being right counts for little. Getting your way counts for little. Being generous counts for everything.

— Dream unceasingly. What you see in front of you is never all that can be.

— Change isn’t your enemy. People who resist change to protect their privileges are the enemy.


— Light and darkness are always at war. Your life is what they fight over.

— When a preacher tells you what you want to hear, stop listening.

— Politicians and cowards aren’t to be trusted.

— Eat simply, live simply, love extravagantly.

— Soldiers fight wars that politicians declare. Respect and support the troops, and then choose better leaders.

— When teachers and bankers earn what they truly contribute to society, it will be a better world.

— A healthy society protects the vulnerable. A corrupt society allows dark forces to prey on the vulnerable. We live in the latter, and it’s time to fix it.

— Praying to God is wise. Scripting God’s response is foolish.

— When people quote Scripture and the Constitution in pursuit of power, your freedom is at risk.

— People want jobs, not handouts. People want respect, not pity. People want freedom, not comfort.


— Owning a black robe doesn’t confer wisdom on a judge or a preacher; just look at the Supreme Court.

— If someone criticizes you for voicing an opinion that they don’t like, voice it again. And again. The sky won’t fall on either of you.

— The greatest rock ‘n’ roll songs of all time are those that made your heart sing.

— Always be reinventing the wheel. Always pursue change for the sake of change.

— Be curious about what lies around the next corner.

— Read stories to children. Then buy them books.

(Tom Ehrich is a writer, church consultant and Episcopal priest based in New York. He is the author of “Just Wondering, Jesus” and founder of the Church Wellness Project. His website is http://www.morningwalkmedia.com. Follow Tom on Twitter (at)tomehrich.)

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