c. 1997 Religion News Service

(Jay Heavner is a writer on gender and sexuality from a progressive male perspective in Washington, D.C.)

UNDATED _ Oct. 4 will be a day of reckoning for the Promise Keepers, the Christian men’s movement with a stated agenda of encouraging”men to live godly lives and to keep seven basic promises of commitment to God, their families, and fellow man.” Best known for stadium events that attracted 1.2 million men in 1996, Promise Keepers is bringing hundreds of thousands of men to Washington on Oct. 4 for its”Stand in the Gap: A Sacred Assembly of Men.” Stand in the Gap is important to Promise Keepers for a number of reasons, including its ability to keep the movement alive.

A recent article in the Washington Post, for example, noted that Promise Keepers is facing falling attendance at its events. So far this year, attendance at its stadium events has been about half of last year’s numbers, and the leadership of Promise Keepers has backed off an initial projection of 1 million for Stand in the Gap to”more than 500,000.”Leaders now say they won’t give any estimates.

In addition, the PK staff has reportedly dwindled from 520 to 368.

Nevertheless, it is obvious Promise Keepers has tapped into a yearning on the part of Christian men. Preaching racial reconciliation, integrity, personal accountability, community service, and support for clergy, the organization grew exponentially since its first event in 1991. So why this dramatic drop in support and attendance?

I think men are turning away from Promise Keepers because Promise Keepers doesn’t respect women _ or men.

Asked about the role of women, Bill McCartney, head of PK, said,”There is a position of authority in everything we do, so you cannot escape authority in any segment of life.”A husband”should be out in front.” In one oft-cited instance, speaker Tony Evans instructed men at a Promise Keepers stadium event, to”sit your wife down and say something like this, `Honey, I’ve made a terrible mistake. I’ve given you my role. … Now I must reclaim that role.’ I’m not suggesting you ask for your role back. I’m urging you to take it back. … There can be no compromise.” But does this”position of authority”apply to men as well? In PK rhetoric, it sure does. They have a very clear idea of the role of men.

If you’re a man who believes in equity in relationships, or if you’re divorced, or you’re gay, or if you’re non-Christian, there’s no room, no respect, for you at PK.

Critics of Promise Keepers accurately point out the sexism, racism and homophobia within the organization, yet they miss a larger point: Men”do it”_ exclude, oppress and put down _ to men, too.

Joseph’s brothers took his coat of many colors, smeared it with blood and faked his death. Pharaoh enslaved a nation. Cain killed Abel. Judas betrayed Jesus. Men did it to men in the Bible.

How do they do it now?

_ The PK leadership, claiming to its members to be apolitical, holds a huge event within view of the White House and a letter dated Sept. 9, signed by one Senator and three Representatives, invites members of Congress to”pray for the leaders of the nation”at Stand in the Gap. Are they truthful in saying there is no political agenda here?

_ At their mostly white events, PKers preach racial reconciliation but not racial justice. They proudly flaunt their homophobia, referring to gay men as”abominations.” Promise Keepers do it to men.

What is needed is an alternative to Promise Keepers, a program that would take a clear and inclusive look at what it means to be a man at the end of the 20th century.

Unlike PK, it would welcome men and women regardless of the religious background, marital status, race, or sexual orientation. Rather than dictate an ideal vision of manhood, the alternative program would help men _ in partnership with their families and informed by their personal circumstances and faith traditions _ to design for themselves ways to be better partners, fathers, and members of the community.

In the meantime, Promise Keepers should review their Promise Number 7, which includes”being obedient to the Great Commandment,”or, as it reads in in Mark 12:31,”You shall love your neighbor as yourself.”

MJP END HEAVNER