Note the spellings of Imam Warith Deen Mohammed, Masjid Muhammad, Elijah Muhammad and Muhammad, the

c. 1997 Religion News Service UNDATED _ When Nadir Najeeullah embraced Islam in the mid-1970s, he said goodbye to his long-haired Afro and chose a more conservative, close-cropped style. But he simultaneously said hello to many questions from Christian family members who did not understand his new religion.”My parents both were … concerned about something […]

c. 1997 Religion News Service

UNDATED _ When Nadir Najeeullah embraced Islam in the mid-1970s, he said goodbye to his long-haired Afro and chose a more conservative, close-cropped style.

But he simultaneously said hello to many questions from Christian family members who did not understand his new religion.”My parents both were … concerned about something that they had not been aware of before and something that went counter to everything they knew and believed themselves,”said Najeeullah of Baltimore.


Now, as he and his wife, Baseemah, prepare to celebrate Ramadan, the traditional month of fasting for Muslims that begins Jan. 10, his family has come to understand why the couple chooses, for example, not to attend a birthday party that would distract them from this time of religious devotion.”We would be able to say straight to them: It’s Ramadan,”said Najeeullah, a 41-year-old social worker with Baltimore’s Child Protective Services.

Such interfaith tensions are common among African-Americans, the vast majority of whom are Christian but as a group now account for the majority of American-born converts to Islam.

Sons, daughters, spouses and siblings who once attended Sunday school now attend Friday prayers, while Christian family members go to Sunday services. Christian relatives persist in giving Christmas presents to their now-Muslim siblings or children, while Muslim converts would rather exchange gifts at Eid al-Fitr, the holiday that marks the end of Ramadan.

But after years of working through such tensions, many African-Americans have discovered that bitter debates can ripen to productive discussions and family rancor can give way to mutual respect.

The Muslim holy month of Ramadan begins with the first sighting of the new moon and ends Feb. 8, when the next new moon makes an appearance. It traditionally is a time when Muslims refrain from food from dawn to sunset and concentrate on spiritual introspection.

This year, the nation’s estimated 3 million to 5 million Muslims will begin observing Ramadan not long after Christians have celebrated Christmas. The two occasions highlight the challenges facing interfaith couples and families.

Aminah McCloud, an associate professor of religious studies at DePaul University in Chicago, said it is much harder for parents to adjust to the theological transformation of their children than to the lifestyle changes they make.”If the parents are religious _ especially Christian and religious _ generally the issues revolve around the fact that the child who may be an adult has chosen a different religion, period,”she said.”The fact that they fast or pray more is not likely to bother them, but what bothers them is that they’ve chosen a different way.” McCloud, an African-American convert to Islam, finds that her family members make sure reunions include beef ribs for her and other Muslims, who are forbidden by Muslim law to eat pork. But such accommodations, she said, are not always made.”I know of other families where there is (the attitude that) `I love my grandchildren and I’ll tolerate you in this religion,'”she said.”There are some families who make an uneasy peace.” Religious leaders are aware of the ideological divide between African-American Muslims and Christians and are beginning to build bridges. Following the lead of some Christian and Muslim leaders on the West Coast, the National Council of Churches is planning a national African-American Christian-Muslim dialogue for later this year.”There is a great deal of need in the community for that dialogue to take place,”said the Rev. Bert Breiner, co-director for interfaith relations of the ecumenical council based in New York City.”There are now very few (African-American) churches that don’t have at least a number of families that have Muslims in them.” Breiner said there is day-to-day contact between Muslims and Christians in individual African-American families, but the issue of interfaith relations”hasn’t really been dealt with by the groups.” While some Christian groups are considering dialogue, some Muslim groups already have stressed religious tolerance. The nation’s largest African-American Muslim organization, led by Imam Warith Deen Mohammed and based in the Chicago suburb of Calumet City, Ill., is one of those in the forefront.”Our daily lives are interwoven with people that are not Muslim, so it’s just a given, almost, for us,”said Imam Yusuf Saleem of Masjid Muhammad in Washington, D.C., which is affiliated with Mohammed’s group.


He said his occasional discussions with Christian clergy reveal a range of views on interfaith families”from those who take a very strong stand of not accepting, not opening their minds, to those that are aware that it’s a changing world … and some of their parishioners are becoming Muslims.” Samuel Mustafa, who attends Friday prayers at Masjid Muhammad, said he and his Christian wife, Hana, concentrate on what they have in common rather than what divides them.”We don’t deal with the labels,”he said.”We deal with the content. … We don’t try to undermine each other. We try to live the religion instead.” Mustafa, 47, said he and his wife, who attends a Methodist church, have agreed to disagree on the role of Jesus. While Christians revere Jesus as the son of God, Muslims consider Jesus one in a line of prophets that ended with Muhammad, the founder of Islam.”I don’t impose my will on her and she don’t impose her will on me,”said Mustafa, a subway train operator.”We respect each other and try to understand each other and that’s what you’ve got to do with any relationship you have.” Some interfaith couples must decide whether or not they will have a Christmas tree or whether the non-Muslim spouse is going to join in fasting.

Imam Armiya Nu’Man, leader of a mosque in Jersey City, N.J., said some Muslim women married to Christian men continue to prepare meals for their non-fasting spouses during Ramadan.”That can be a test on the individual,”said Nu’Man.”But it’s a challenge that many of the sisters … pass because they’re doing it out of love of God.” In general, Nu’Man said, interfaith conflicts between couples subside with time.”Of course, when the person first accepts Islam, it’s quite a strain in the relationship,”said Nu’Man, who has written a self-published book called”What Every American Should Know about Islam and the Muslims.””But as the person gets grounded in the religion and the spouse sees this person is sincere, usually there’s no problem.” McCloud, the religious studies professor, said often parent-child relations that may rupture over religious differences are mended for the sake of the grandchildren.

Sheryl Bilal, a manager of an outpatient treatment center for children in Chicago, said when she first converted to Islam, Christmas was a point of tension with her Christian parents.”We would not celebrate Christmas,”Bilal recalled.”There was a lot of resentment and they would give my kids gifts and fuss about what they were missing out on.” Now, Bilal said, her parents and in-laws are more accepting of her faith. She, her husband Gerard, and their three children now routinely join relatives for Christmas dinner.”They’re not going to give us gifts,”said Bilal, 47, who has been a Muslim for about 19 years.”They’re not expecting us to do anything around the holiday other than just be with them. That’s the level of acceptance that has come over the course of years.” (BEGIN OPTIONAL TRIM)

At a recent Christmas dinner at her sister-in-law’s house, Bilal’s husband was asked to say grace and the Muslim family went to another room when it was time to say one of their daily prayers. Praying five times a day is considered one of the”pillars”of Muslim practice.

Such a peaceful gathering is far different from the heated discussions Bilal had when she first converted to Islam.”We’d have these debates about (how) Jesus wasn’t the son of God,”she recalled.”That stopped because that’s not productive. People believe what they believe and you don’t debate them out of that belief.” Now, she chooses instead to model her faith and interested relatives ask questions. For example, a sister-in-law sought Bilal’s advice when she decided to fast during Lent last year.

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But some misconceptions remain.

Bilal said often when African-American friends learn she is Muslim they mistakenly assume she is affiliated with the Nation of Islam, now headed by Minister Louis Farrakhan.”I think probably there may still be family members who assume that’s what we’re with,”she said.”It’s just an assumption that’s real hard to break.” While Bilal never was affiliated with the Nation of Islam, Najeeullah, the Baltimore social worker, was once aligned with the racially centered Muslim sect, which orthodox Muslims consider heretical. But after Nation of Islam founder Elijah Muhammad died in 1975, Najeeullah made a transition into mainstream Islam. He followed the example of Elijah Muhammad’s son, Warith Deen Mohammed, who abandoned the Nation of Islam’s race-based teachings after his father’s death and became an orthodox Sunni Muslim.


Najeeullah and his wife are the only Muslims in their immediate families, but he said discussions about theological differences are now civil.”It’s not something that we throw at each other or use to beat each other up,”he said.”What’s most essential is my obligation to respect my family, to respect my parents. That’s more important to me than for me to get brownie points for scoring a philosophical victory.”

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