COMMENTARY: In the face of change, can God be trusted?

c. 1998 Religion News Service (Samuel K. Atchison is an ordained minister and has worked as a policy analyst and social worker to the homeless. He currently is a prison chaplain in Trenton, N.J., and a fellow of the Gallup International Institute.) UNDATED _ One of the toughest challenges for a preacher is to practice […]

c. 1998 Religion News Service

(Samuel K. Atchison is an ordained minister and has worked as a policy analyst and social worker to the homeless. He currently is a prison chaplain in Trenton, N.J., and a fellow of the Gallup International Institute.)

UNDATED _ One of the toughest challenges for a preacher is to practice what he or she preaches. Yet such is the quandary I face as I prepare for the next phase of my ministry.


For nearly five years, my ministerial identity _ as well as my income _ have been derived from my role as an institutional pastor, serving first in a county jail and, for the past three years, in a maximum security prison. I have had the privilege of serving under some of the most challenging circumstances imaginable.

Yet apart from the inherent stresses and obvious dangers of working in jails and prisons, institutional ministry has provided my family with certain advantages that are often denied my parish-based colleagues: middle-class income and benefits, job security and opportunities for professional growth and advancement, among others. I have enjoyed these perks to their fullest.

However, the still, small voice dreaded by pastors has spoken, and its letting me know that a change is about to take place.

This change threatens to undermine in ways that are both strange and frightening my family’s hectic but pleasant little world. Consequently, I find myself asking a question that has plagued people from the beginning of time: Can God be trusted?

That a minister would ask such a question no doubt strikes some as the height of sacrilege. After all, one might ask, isn’t God’s faithfulness at the heart of the Christian message? Doesn’t the New Testament affirmation that”God was in Christ, reconciling the world unto himself”(II Corinthians 5:19) provide sufficient assurance of his love?

Yes, I would shamefacedly agree, all of this is true. But in my heart of hearts, far deeper than my theological training can penetrate, lives a man who is both a husband and a father.

I remember the many years of struggle we endured as my wife’s income supported my ministry to the homeless. As with many of our contemporaries, a personal identity crisis (mine) and conflicts over marital roles threatened the very existence of our family.


Now, after a few short years of relative stability, we stand once more at a crossroads. As we again wrestle with the impending changes in our lives, my wife asks me questions for which I have no answers and my children look for leadership that I’m not sure how to provide.

The next phase of our ministry _ to start a church in our inner-city neighborhood _ will entail a significant emotional and financial investment. How will we survive? What sacrifices will be required?

In short, how do I reconcile my circumstances with my faith? And, as the head of my household, how do I do so in a manner that makes my family feel secure?

One small comfort during this time is that my family and I know we are not alone in our struggle. Regardless of race, gender or class, most of us wrestle with living out our faith with integrity.

Yet perhaps it is here the Bible speaks most clearly, offering detailed accounts of the lives of those who were admonished to follow God’s direction in the face of daunting circumstances.

Even a cursory examination of the lives of Abraham and Sarah, Moses, David, and Paul indicates that what is at issue is not the faithfulness of God but the faith of his servants. Though they may endure personal hardships, God’s people are never put to shame when they place their trust in him.


In light of this, it appears that in my musings I have been asking the wrong questions. The issue is not whether God can be trusted.

The question is, am I willing to obey?

MJP END ATCHISON

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