c. 1998 Religion News Service
(Samuel K. Atchison is an ordained minister and has worked as a policy analyst and social worker to the homeless. He currently is a prison chaplain in Trenton, N.J.)
UNDATED _ It is often said that behind every successful man stands a good woman. Left unsaid is what the woman is often doing _ covering her husband’s backside.
For an example of this, one needs look no further than Bill Clinton’s White House, where the president’s popularity is being kept afloat in part by the aggressive counter-campaign his wife Hillary Rodham Clinton has launched against Independent Counsel Kenneth Starr.
Only the most calloused heart could remain unaffected after watching the composed first lady smile before the cameras and say,”He didn’t do it.” However, Mrs. Clinton is hardly the only paragon of wifely virtue to which the nation has borne recent witness.
Just a few days ago, for example, Bea Romer smiled bravely as her husband of 45 years, Colorado Gov. Roy Romer, confessed to a 16-year”affectionate relationship”with a gubernatorial aide. Mrs. Romer’s presence was no doubt designed to convince the public she agreed with the”negotiated”arrangement that her husband claimed”allowed our family to stay together.” Other examples also spring to mind.
There is Coretta Scott King, who, in the 30 years since the death of her husband, the Rev. Martin Luther King Jr., has steadfastly _ if tortuously _ deflected criticism of his alleged extramarital affairs.
For many of us, observing these and other such relationships is painful because in them we see ourselves. In their public revelations we are reminded of our hidden secrets.
As a result, we project onto both betrayer and betrayed our own unresolved feelings: guilt, remorse, anger, justification, forgiveness. We see in them all of the broken promises, shattered ideals, compromises and shades of gray characterizing our own lives.
It is this sense of identification that accounts for the ambivalence in the public opinion polls and why the president’s approval rating remains high despite the fact that most Americans believe something happened with both Paula Jones and Monica Lewinsky.
Yet at the same time our ambivalence is also a cry for help.
It suggests a desire for redemption, to know something good can come from those with cheating hearts.
Perhaps it is here the unconditional love exemplified by Hillary Clinton, Bea Romer and Coretta King _ to say nothing of thousands of others _ can prove instructive. For in it can be seen the unmerited favor characteristic of divine grace.
To be sure, if guilty of adultery, no spouse deserves such love. But then, who among us does? Have we not all been guilty _ inexcusably guilty _ of violating God’s law? The fact that”God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting men’s sins against them”(2 Corinthians 5:19) is a testament to God’s love, not our merit.
And yet, because this love is undeserved, it makes us want to be worthy of it, to become better than we currently are. Such is the redemptive power of unmerited devotion.
One hopes all those who cheat will realize the adoration and devotion they seek in the arms of another can be found in their wives. Then maybe they will become better than they are.
DEA END ATCHISON
