c. 1999 Religion News Service

HOUSTON _ At Bering Memorial United Methodist Church, expect to be greeted with open arms, regardless of your sexual orientation.

It is a reconciling congregation. Among United Methodists, that means a church that works to include everyone, whether gay or straight. There is a handful of such churches in Texas and more across the nation.

At Bering, newcomers are drawn to a historic, picturesque church in the heart of the Montrose neighborhood. It has a strong history of advocating justice. It is admired for its outreach, including a dental clinic for people with AIDS and support groups for people with AIDS and their partners and families.

What it doesn’t offer are weddings.

Not to gay or lesbian couples wanting a union ceremony _ nor to straight couples seeking to be wed in the stately sanctuary.

The church and its pastor, the Rev. Marilyn Meeker-Williams, will hold no weddings as long as the United Methodist Church prohibits clergy from officiating at same-sex union ceremonies.

For Meeker-Williams, the soft-spoken wife and mother of three, including a gay son in his early 20s, preaching and living the peace of Jesus requires difficult decisions. Like speaking out for what she believes when it would be easier to keep silent.”This is really a pastoral decision, but I would not make it without extensive conversations with our congregants,”Meeker-Williams said of the ban on weddings for the foreseeable future.

The decision was talked about for 15 months, including two wide-ranging discussions during meetings of the church’s 90-member administrative board. A letter signed by the 49-year-old pastor and her two associate ministers, the Revs. Troy G. Plummer and Bruce Felker, informed church members of the pastoral decision in February.

In part, it said:”It is not acceptable, nor just, nor loving to offer God’s blessing for some couples when others are denied that holy blessing.” Meeker-Williams, who has been at the church for three years, said she has received mostly supportive letters and phone calls from church members. Members who have disagreed have said they will support her decision.”Nobody has said I’m leaving the church over this,”she said.

Plummer said fewer than 10 people in the predominantly gay congregation have told the ministers they were unhappy with the decision. He described the decision as”an act of justice.””The church needed to take a stand to say this is not OK and we will not support this double-standard,”Meeker-Williams said.”The decision was not taken lightly. We understand the problem to be the greatest challenge we have faced in the United Methodist Church for some time,”she said.”The challenge is to differ in our understandings but be united in love. We’re united in the love of Christ. That’s what we’re doing here as the church. To continue to live that out when we are very diverse in our understandings of homosexuality is a challenge.” At Bering, the congregation turns theologically to Romans 8, the apostle Paul’s exhortation on”the mind-boggling power of Christ’s love,”she said. The passage is its recourse in the face of opposition. Nothing, Paul asserted, will be able to separate believers from the love of God in Christ Jesus.

As with much Scripture, believers differ in how that passage should be lived out. They also disagree on what the Bible in general says about homosexual practice. To many Christians, a homosexual lifestyle cannot be condoned in word, action or policy.

At their General Conference, Methodists’ highest legislative body, delegates in 1996 adopted a resolution prohibiting clergy from performing or participating in same-sex unions. Such unions are not officially validated by the United Methodist Church nor by most other churches. Yet to some people in same-sex partnerships, being denied a religious affirmation of a long-term commitment is like being denied a funeral because of their sexual orientation.”Obviously, what we truly would love to have is a holy union in our church with our senior pastor celebrating that union. That’s the ideal for us,”said Bering church member Linda Enger.

Enger, 46, and Eleanora Piombino, 55, have been together for 25 years. Nothing would give them greater joy than to affirm that commitment in Bering’s sanctuary, surrounded by friends in the 700-member church.”We feel badly that the United Methodist Church has stood firm in its decision to ban same-sex marriages,”Enger said.”But the way we feel about Marilyn and our congregation’s decision is, it’s an inclusive statement. In my mind, she’s saying: `I’m going to treat everyone the same.’

The decision at the 1996 Methodist General Conference meeting in Denver has won out at other national and international sessions, too. Churches are willing to sponsor ministries to gay people, but refuse to ordain them or bless their unions. The issue has polarized Methodists and divided other denominations across the country.

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Reconciling churches challenging the 1996 decision include Trinity United Methodist Church in Austin, where the Rev. Sid Hall and the congregation agreed that until a solution is found, both opposite-sex and same-sex unions will be performed Quaker-style without an officiant.

Other clergy have gone a step further, challenging the national prohibition by performing same-sex unions. The Rev. Jimmy Creech, violated church doctrine on the matter two years ago, presiding over the marriage of two lesbians while he was serving as pastor of First United Methodist Church in Omaha, Neb.

He was almost convicted in a church trial. Soon after his acquittal, his Nebraska contract was not renewed. Under the terms of his leave of absence from the 8.5 million-member denomination, he cannot perform marriages. But this spring, Creech performed a union ceremony for two gay men in North Carolina.

In January, 68 clergy officiated at a same-sex union ceremony in California, publicly challenging a ban. Earlier this week a United Methodist panel began an investigation of the incident to determine whether the 68 should be charged with violating church law.

And in March, the Rev. Gregory Dell of Chicago was found guilty of breaking church rules and indefinitely suspended from the ministry for presiding at a same-sex ceremony.

Same-sex unions are high on the agenda being discussed this month as Methodists hold regional sessions, called annual conferences, across the country, according to a spokesman for United Methodists’ Nashville, Tenn.-based news service. He predicted the issue would come up again next year when the church holds its quadrennial General Conference.”We’re going to get a lot of petitions to keep the ban on clergy officiating at same-sex unions, the spokesman predicted,”the spokesman said.”Most Methodists do not want the ban dropped.”DEA END HOLMES