c. 2000 Religion News Service

(Dale Hanson Bourke is the mother of two sons and the author of five books.)

(UNDATED) By my conservative estimate, there are at least a thousand reasons a day not to think about God. I come to this conclusion after a bout of self-reflection; a time of realigning my priorities and questioning my use of time.

Six months ago I changed the structure of my days so I could put first things first. Surely without daily rush-hour commutes and hours studying financial statements I would have time for all that is good and important, I reasoned.

During this half-year I have enjoyed the calm and peaceful rhythms of life. I have loved driving children to school without my usual sense of impatience and picking them up with enough flexibility to drop off a classmate who missed the bus.

I have sat with a friend while life-sustaining chemicals dripped into her veins, and I have joined other women in baking and working on school projects. I have read. I have written most of a book. I have tried yoga exercises and have practiced Spanish.

I have done many life-enriching things, but I still find it difficult to give God his fair share of my life.

This frustrates me deeply. Ever since childhood I have tried to find an effective way to infuse my faith into my daily routine. Yet all these years later, I still lack the discipline or will to consistently set aside time for what I consider my top priority.

It’s not that I haven’t tried. I have bought devotionals and used study guides. I have done read-through-the-Bible programs and used a prayer notebook. I have followed them all somewhat successfully for a certain period of time. But something always pushes into that time.

I know there are those who believe such organized “quiet times” are legalistic. I have gone through such phases myself. Yet I cannot get away from the fact that setting time aside to specifically concentrate on God does make a difference in my day and in my life.

When I start my day with prayer and Scripture reading I see everything differently. I am more inclined to hear people’s needs and understand their fears. I am more open to seeing interruptions as sacred opportunities. I am more willing to reach out instead of pulling back. I feel a regular sense of gratitude.

I think I may even look different when I let God do some work on me. Perhaps I look less busy, more tolerant, more open to holy things. It certainly seems like more people approach me at such times.

And yet there are the mundane excuses laying in wait. This morning I had to take a child to school early; tomorrow I will be in another city in a different time zone. Yesterday a friend called; last week we had guests.

The excuses go on without any real substance. None is insurmountable; most are only a momentary diversion creating an ongoing pattern of neglect.

What I do know is that the external factors are not really the issue. Even without the compressed schedule of a morning commute, I still find reasons to get busy with living instead of taking time to listen to the giver of life.

Most of us have a list of things we would do if we only had the time. For years I had a list like that and believed I could do all those things if I wasn’t sitting in an office. With more freedom I have done many of them, but my spiritual life still needs work.

I know now what I have always understood on some level: Making God a priority in life takes far more internal will than external opportunity.

DEA END BOURKE