c. 2003 Religion News Service

(David P. Gushee is the Graves Professor of Moral Philosophy at Union University in Jackson, Tenn.)

(UNDATED) We might think that nothing could be more innocuous than Father’s Day. In its wholesomeness it stands right up there with baseball, hot dogs and apple pie. But in fact Father’s Day poses uncomfortable challenges today.

Think of the difficulty facing sensitive congregational leaders this weekend. They want to honor fathers. But if they honor fathers they must be sensitive to those whose fathers never knew them, left (or were forced out of) the household after divorce, were cruel or abusive or neglectful, or were alcoholics, drug addicts or criminals. They must be aware of those who are struggling with complicated stepfather relationships. They must think about those whose fathers have died.

They must also be aware of fathers themselves: those who are kept from seeing their children due to post-divorce complications or injustices; those who have fathered children and have little or no role in their children’s lives due to their own choices; those who are trying to be fathers and stepfathers in multiple fractured families; those whose workaholism or substance abuse or some other problem has damaged their relationships with their children. They must be concerned about those who are grieving dead children. And they must think about men who have never had the opportunity to have children at all.

The natural tendency in such a chaotic environment is to go silent. If nothing can be said that won’t offend or wound someone, then we’d better not say anything at all.

But it is precisely “for such a time as this” that the religious communities of our land must proclaim a robust vision of fatherhood. The role of congregations is not to adapt biblical teaching to cultural patterns, but instead to challenge cultural patterns with biblical teaching. Such challenges must certainly be offered with pastoral sensitivity, but still they must be offered. If I were preaching about fatherhood this weekend, I would say something like this:

Every adult man carries within his body the power to participate with a woman in conceiving a new human life. This is an awesome power, delegated to men and women by God the Creator, to whom they are responsible for its exercise and before whom they will be held to account.

Men, do not have sex unless you are prepared to be the hands-on resident father of the child that is the potential product of your union. This means that sex is reserved for the marriage bed.

Once you conceive a child, men, you are bound to a lifetime covenant of responsibility for the well-being of that child. If married, you were already in a lifetime covenant with the child’s mother. Now the meaning of that covenant has deepened, and the obligation has stretched to include another human life.

You will always be the father of this child you have brought into the world. Your obligations to this child are many. You are first obligated to love the child’s mother and remain in faithful covenant relationship with her. You are obligated to endure seasons of frustration and suffering, if they should come, in order to provide a home in which both you as father and she as mother are residentially present for your child.

You are obligated to love your child with the best love that you can offer. This requires you to draw on the wellsprings of a divine love that goes far deeper than any human love. You must seek to love your child the way that God the heavenly Father loves us. You must provide moral, spiritual and intellectual leadership to your child. You must provide physical and moral protection to your home and family. You must set a good example in all that you do. You must be ready to let go when your child is grown while never forgetting that she will always be watching you.

If circumstances tragically prevent you from living as a residential father to your child, you must fight through every obstacle that you can to be the best possible father to your child. If you are a stepfather, you must ask God to expand your heart to love this child as if he is your own.

A society is built on the strength of its families. Families prosper on the strength of their fathers. Many women raise children alone because they have to _ but they shouldn’t have to. Be the kind of men that both women and children need. Let them find rest in your wise, mature, sacrificial, and committed love.

DEA END GUSHEE