The lists of things you should never say

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To-do list book. Image courtesy Justin See via Flickr Creative Commons.

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Is it really admirable or edifying, though, to insist on lists of rules of what one must "never" say? Do these lists get at the heart of the matter -- that all of us, in our words, should strive to "speak unto others as we'd like them to speak to us?" Do these lists leave room for grace?